Operation operation

The Chronicles of Marias!!!!
(all characters , however life like they may seem ..are purely fictional!!)

Part -one

“Operation; operation; operation just now. Call the Doctor; call the Dr call the doctor just now “…and the song went so on and so forth…

I never really belonged to the school of thought, which lauded such poems with awfully bad rhyme schemes, especially for kids. I would always advocate that, a Taste should always follow Paste or Waste, Fight or Tight may precede Might or Height. One has to mention the Fun-Nun-Bun-Stun-Run (no pun intended), the Noon-Swoon-Boon-Goon or the Pen-Men-hen-Then combos. Gripping stuff, if u ask me and quite robust as well.

But not on this occasion, this time it was the content that moved me. There are times when I, like so many others before and after my time, have laughed at the word “operation” as though they might have been “nincompoop”, “vicissitude” or “gurgle”, these are words that make u see the lighter side sometimes, what with being the bone of many a joke. But now I realize that it’s a word to be treated very seriously, with a morose face if you like. Grim, would be a better adjective to describe the face for this current situation.

Well, i haven’t really told you why I have been dwelling on this painful subject of operation, has been quite a harangue, I admit. Just recently I had an operation for a Hernial condition that I found myself in, if that’s the right adjectival form I’m looking for. From that very moment I stopped seeing the lighter side of operations, in fact all I could see was the heavier side, literally so. One starts wondering, whether it is worth harboring a lighter side to these grotesque realities. It can be said in this context that a hernia is a true eye opener, figuratively speaking, of course.

What really causes a hernia is something I will never be sure of, and whatever small pieces of information are available to my cerebrum, or is it the cerebellum, don’t really give me any hope of explaining it too much better than the next person could. In fact the central problem here lies in the utterly gross nature of the complication, where the whole of one’s groin seems to be involved in some way or the other. The fact that I haven’t been a biology student has always left me wanting when it came to some such bold discussions on anatomy, especially as regards the private parts of either sex. Have always felt it won’t suit weaker audiences, a feeling I’m unable to shake off till date. So we shall conclude this part of our discussion by simply stating that, it does hurt, when u try to walk or talk. (refer to rhyme scheme- Para 2 ) and the area of pain accentuates it.

The pain was what I was actually hoping to enlighten you about. It’s sharp; unexpected; and above all painful. Imagine you land on a couch with your bottom facing upwards, and there is an upward pointing needle in the couch, near the center let us imagine, where would it hurt and how!!… Ouch (rhyme scheme block busters- refer p 2)…would be the fruits of your imagination, if that were the phrase I was looking for. So, that is the kind of hernial effect to which I had alluded to in the past. Also there are other things that will add insult to injury. As If the pain wasn’t bad enough, u have to contend with immobility. Walking is not tough, when u don’t walk. But when u try to, somehow you start feeling both your legs aren’t thinking similarly. Would’ve loved to put it that yours legs aren’t seeing eye to eye, but it should be kept in perspective that, the primary motive is not to confuse one’s reader. So I have refrained. One leg tends to feel en-vigor-ed, if that’s the right one, while the other enervated. With such complications arising with walking, the requirement for the usage of other verbs such as crawling, climbing, hopping, skipping, jumping, hop-skip-and-jumping etc is obviated. Also when one wants to laugh, all he can succeed with is a simper , a hiccup of some sort, to make things pretty clear to our esteemed readers. So, if you start laughing you would probably have to settle down crying. Crying, as is always there with life, is no holds bar. You can cry all you want and feel a happy man.

One is of course confined to his home-sweet-home for what seems like a mini-eternity. This of course is achieved by denying one’s fundamental rights to scooter, go for a walk (, should a juggernaut run over you,), meet girlfriends, and to live a worthy enough life to suit an ugly li’l mole, which I’m sure is at least briefed of his/her rights before confinement. The boredom, like the idle-mind-is-the-devil’s-workshop situation, prompts one to suicidal tendencies, like it has driven the author to think, or even genocidal levels, like it has driven the author to write and publish.

Now the crux of the issue really is, actually sensible people would have guessed by now, NO SEXUAL activity (period), I cant really say how long this period could be…. So any of the following two things are likely to result to the subject, viz. Die due to sex, or the lack of it. Simple. Other self-motivating activities are not found to be fatal but their effects have been gross and lasting. The whole feeling stands magnified if the subject, as the present one is, in a kissing sabbatical with his girlfriend, the analogy may be extended to females, however the author wishes to express that he is no expert on female hernial aftermath. Details of the above sabbatical cannot be published due to a very deeply personal emotion associated with it. Hrrrmmph. So, that does it. Moral of the story: never ever laugh at a man who just now told u he had an operation. Special sympathy advocated for the hernial kind! Keep that in mind!! (Super-block-buster rhyme, you know where to go!).

- Sairam